2024

so another new year in front of me. 2023 has been a transformational year for me. living alone in hostel has made me know more about myself than i have known for the past 17 years. but somewhere i think i know everything about myself there is to know about. i know there will be surprises in future about me, but i think i have come in terms with my past and my emotions. i have realized happiness is a facade, you just need to live in the moment, be present. and you need to set aside time for yourself to just talk with the person you know the most, and have the ability to change, yourself. 

but i think i have known enough about myself. i still read philosophies but i know all there is to know about myself, until this moment. i think my main goal for the next year, would be to implement all this. i need to know about myself in action. there is more to me than just who i am right now. i really liked a quote by conan o'brien in which he says, 

“It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.”

and i think i should set a theme for next year, not resolutions which i will tend to not follow after february. i think "work hard, be kind" is  nice enough to be a yearly goal for myself. now it stems out from there, work hard can branch out to give in more effort to study, know more about the field i am in, get in extra curriculars, gather certificates, become fit. and be kind would be to help more people without thinking, not judge people based on their appearances and circumstances, be kind with words, think before speaking. i think 2023 was all about knowing myself, and 2024 would be to implement that knowledge, and see it in work.

i'd like to see myself reading more books on an average, stop and limit myself on social platforms, be present, be grateful for the life i have.

i had a thought recently, people often ask each other that if they had the chance to tell something to their younger selves, what would they advice. and people often have interesting answers. but i have realized, that at the end what i am understanding right now, is fundamentally the same thing i knew back then, just under a different light, it is more clear to me. so i would advice myself nothing, because if it is me, he is going to go through the same things, understand like me, and get in the same situation i am in. i always believe that we are faced with problems, we can find the solutions of. so just enjoy life as it is. learn from it. look back. smile. forgive and forget. understand that the person who bullied you or just had a negative impact on your life, had something going through his life as well. you are better than holding a grudge against a thing that happened in the past. remember that you will be judged in the future, the way you judge people for their actions. just smile and be kind.

and if you are annoyed by the challenges life is giving you, just look back, you probably had a time in the past, where you felt that that challenge was huge as well, but looking back now, it is not all that huge. remove yourself from your body, look at yourself from afar, the hill that you are looking at might not be as huge as you think it is.

if you want to be happy, stop thinking of your future as an ideal one. the future is out of your control, and the more you think that it is in your control, the more you'll be disappointed, control what you can, control the efforts you can give. you cannot control the outcome, so don't stress about it.

stop complaining about other people, again out of your control. think of death a lot, we live for approximately 4000 weeks, out of which 930 have passed for me. thinking of death, gives you a perspective to life, you start thinking more about what you do, the people you spend your time with, and the decisions you make for yourself.

dont try to be something you're not, you'll disappoint yourself only at the end. there will always be people who will support you the way you are, accept you the way you are, and when you find them, grab on to them tight. and just keep it simple. life isn't a chess board, live a little, experience stuff, collect stories, else you won't have anything to tell people, and you will make stories or steal from your friends who probably lived when you didn't.

best of luck for the future.

i wanted to add some stuff as well. i will be reading more religious texts, gita, bible, maybe quran? i will be going in depth to most of the mythologies i know surface level of like nordic, greek and more. more books about psychoanalysis, and business and evolutionary psychology.