butterflies

 "butterflies in stomach" is a common phrase used by us to describe the feeling when we like someone. that squeezy feeling is nerve-wrecking as well as exciting, because we are just thinking about the possibility of ourselves ending up with them, and having the "happily ever after...". but it is a rare sight of it actually becoming true. the reason is that when we like a person, we have an image of them in our minds. but when you slowly get to know them, you realize that the perception of them in your mind was wrong, and you start losing interest. couples who get into relationship with excitement, and without any thought, go through a phase. i call, "the honeymoon phase", this phase lasts ranging from around 3 to 6 months. in these months you absolutely love the person you call your better half. you love their unique antics, their weird behavior, you rarely have conflicts, because you both compromise with each other.

but in a couple, there's always one person, who gets out of the honeymoon phase first. the person realizes that their perception of this person, and the ideal scenario they had in mind is not possible. they slowly start to lose interest, as i mentioned above. now, remember one of them still loves their partner with their whole heart. but, the realizor (that's what i am calling the person who gets out of honeymoon phase earlier) breaks off with the dreamer (that's what i am calling the person who still is in honeymoon phase). now, the dreamer, who still loves the realizor, thinks what went wrong. they start blaming the situation, and end up blaming themselves, which is not accurate. the dreamer takes time, weeks, months, maybe years, but he realizes that he wasn't wrong.

i have been in this situation myself a couple of times, like currently, i like a girl in my class. today i was with her, and after a topic rose up, she declared that she was unemotional. now, the perception of this girl that i had in my mind shattered. i clearly know that that's not a good sign, i shouldn't get emotionally involved. and maybe i don't need a relationship after all. maybe seeing all these couples in my university, in my previous school, in our society, has rewired my brain into thinking, that i "need" a girlfriend, which is not true at all. but all these realizations for me would amount to nothing. because i will still have butterflies for a random girl tomorrow. good night.